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I hate you and you will never realize the depth of that. I want to be… - "DJ's saying something nasty" [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Samantha

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[Feb. 21st, 2013|04:55 pm]
Samantha
I hate you and you will never realize the depth of that. I want to be happy, but I don't think I ever will be. I never have been truly happy. I am physically falling apart and mentally. I can see what the doctor meant when she told me 5 years. I don't know why I dwell on that. It will be 4 years in July and I can feel the difference. I know the medications have helped me but they are also hurting me. I am developing addictions and bad habits. I have heard that you hit rock bottom before you can rise again. I don't think I have ever been rock bottom, but I think this is the closest I've been. I have fallen down 5 times in the past three months. I see a neurologist soon, I am wondering if it's M.S. I am only 24, why are things so messed up?
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