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An update [Dec. 24th, 2013|02:54 pm]
I thought I would do an update since It was February since I last wrote. I found happiness, it truly exist to some degree enough for me to live on a daily basis. I went through a "binge" of happiness towards the end of February that has extended out to the past few months. I am a little bit sadder lately then I have been, but I am optimistic and feel I will overcome. I started this journal when I was 15 years old, I am now 25. When I started this I was a naive child. I think my past Samantha would be angry at me for saying that but, I was a slightly-ego centric spoiled brat sheltered and smothered by family. I don't write anymore, because live-journal and journaling in general seems to have become a wasteland of words. I am also a busy person, I have my cat, my husband, and my job. Today however, I am passing on the world of journaling to my nieces. I bought them both Q and A children journaling books off Amazon for Christmas, they are 10 and 11, younger then I was when I started journaling. If they do catch on I think they will enjoy the ability to revisit their past selfs. Livejournal has actually done more for me then I ever expected. I met mat here, I got to see glimpses of my 15-25 year old self. This journal has been reflections of my depression, anxiety, friendships, hardships, holidays, sadness, happiness, disease. I never knew this is the way my life would turn out but, I am happy for the opportunity to archive it.

Here's my year in reflection:

January- Substitute teaching, going to school at Ball State.

February- RA out of control, Mat's birthday

March- My sister finds out she's pregnant, Bronson is born November 1.

April- Still subbing, doing practicum courses at Ball State, doing lessons with 3rd graders at St.
Mary's, 5th graders at Burris Lab school, and 1st graders at Stoire.

May- RA still out of control

June- Summer School in Muncie, learning about the history of education, special- ed courses. Mat and I celebrate our 3 year Marriage anniversary, and 7 year being together anniversary.

July- Get off all RA meds, to try to start a family doesn't really work out. I have PCOS, Mother-Law gets diagnosed with Cancer.

August- Get job as Special-Ed Assistant.

September- Grow an appreciation for Special-ed, Start my 3rd to last math course over teaching student's math, gives me a new outlook on math. My dad has a mini-stroke but recovers.

October- RA is getting worse, Halloween at work, we dress up at Decidable Me minions as a group, Brigham is another year older. Mat get's laid off. I end up giving up most of my medications, no more health insurance.

November- RA is still bad, My 25th birthday, We decide to have Chinese food takeout, because Mat is deathly sick. Bronson my new nephew is born November 1st. Mat decides to do self-contracting work with a past employer.

December- RA is starting to ease up, I am able to go back on some of my meds, because Mat's new insurance kicks in. Mother in Law's cancer goes into remission. I am still having good and bad days emotionally and physically but, I am more aware of my limitations and look forward to things getting better rather then worse.