||[Jun. 6th, 2011|10:45 pm]
Things will get better I promise. I am making that promise to myself even though I don't feel I can really trust myself. the 3rd was 5 years that me and mat got together though we have been friends a total of 7 or 8 years I really don't remember, though I would like to find out :) and the 4th made 1 year that we have been married. I have a fondness for numbers and I hope I feel better. My doctor wants me to be on the ivy drugs at the cancer center if things don't get better. I am trying to get out of a bad flair that has been pretty bad for the past few months. I partially blame it on myself, because I am young and don't realize the extent to how bad things actually are. I will find out shortly the full extent after I get xrays this week. I haven't had xrays in 2 years and at that point there was no damage but inflammation. This was the beginning of my diagnosis and really the start to the hell known as an autoimmune disease. So I am curious to what my bones will say. I have my suspicions, I have developed the hands of an 90 year old women, which 2 years ago they where the hands of a 20 year old. I also have had several days where I can't walk because of the pain and tendens in my feet tearing apart as I walk, something I certainly didn't experience 2 years ago. I shall shuffle on though, and try to be an optimist. I am going to try to look into things that will make my life a little bit better my diet is one thing I really need to change.